In case you missed it, check out Part 1 – The Challenge.

The Poll
First – dudes…take the poll over on the right. And…moving along.

The Team
I hung out with some of my friends last night and a couple girls (Annie and Betsy) pointed out that I gave guys an “out” in yesterday’s post by mentioning that some of us are bench players – that is, we don’t have anyone we’re interested in. Here’s my advice: guys, we shouldn’t just label ourselves a “bench player” by default. This whole challenge is about – well, challenging ourselves! Here are a list of excuses I often make in not asking girls out…and what I’ve learned.

My “I-Don’t-Care-About-Nuance-Or-Thoroughness” Excuse Explosion List

• “I don’t want to be rejected.” I asked a girl out and got turned down a few months ago. She probably didn’t dig me and that’s cool. I’m still breathing! Fellas, girls want dudes who will take risks. At a minimum, that means you have to risk looking like an idiot. You have to risk her saying no.
• “I hardly know her and want to hang in a group to find out what she’s like.” It should only take a few hangs to figure it out. Don’t use this wise practice as a copout. If you’ve hung out 5 times, she uses deodorant semi-regularly, and is still attractive to you, it’s time for a call-up.
• “I have poor social skills and wouldn’t be able to carry a conversation on the date.” Figure out how not to be boring. Make a list of questions to ask her (but don’t read from it on the date! . And practice YOUR answers to them because she’ll probably shoot your questions back to you to answer.
• “I’m afraid of ruining a friendship.” Listen, if things don’t work, you’ll figure it out. If the date makes things weird, it’s only because you rocked the boat a little. After a period of time, things will come back to center.
• “She’s already seeing someone (or one of my friends is already into her).” Either wait it out or move along and get your mind off her. Or, if you’re especially bold, talk to your friend who likes her and tell him to make a move or move out of the way (a little more diplomatically than that).
• “I don’t have enough money to take a girl out.” All it takes is 20-30 bucks! Go donate plasma or bet your friends you’ll eat a whole bag of Totinos Pizza Rolls in an hour. The latter would be profitable both monetarily and delicious-arily.
• “If I ask a girl out, people are going to think I like her. I don’t want other girls to think I’m interested in her.” This is also called “keeping my options open.” In many situations, social pressure can be a deterrent from destructive behavior. Randomly making out with girls in your friend group is a bad idea. That’s good social pressure. But taking a girl out for a meal shouldn’t be in this category. Strange enough, T.I.’s song “Live Your Life” has been a real help to me in this regard. If someone wants to judge you for asking a girl out then let them. Live your life! Don’t be paralyzed by what someone else thinks when the action you’re taking isn’t deceitful or bad. You’re the dude taking control and owning your life. Just because lots of other dudes are “playing it cool” doesn’t mean you have to.

There’s Talent in the System (or… You’re Probably Not a Bench Player)
So here’s my practical suggestion for today. Think you’re a bench player? You’ve got no prospects in your farm system? Don’t be so sure. I thought the same thing. Until I popped Facebook open. Here’s what I did…

1. Login to Facebook
2. On the left sidebar, you’ll see a link of how many friends you have (mine says 737 friends). Click it (orange arrow)



3. On the left bar of this page, click your city or organization. For me, it was Nashville, TN (again, Orange arrow)



4. Look through the list of girls you know. And get ready for your temperature to rise. You’ll be scrolling along and quickly dismiss them. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no.” And then you’ll come across a girl you dig. “Oh, crap!” It’s like you’ve just been convicted of robbing a bank. You’re getting hot and your heart is beating faster. You found a girl you wouldn’t mind taking out. Now what to do? You’re not a bench player anymore, homie! You just got put into the game. Time to call her. You’ve got to own it and take the challenge! (P.S. CALL HER! Don’t ask her out through Facebook/Twitter/email/text. I learned this the hard way and I’ll talk about it tomorrow).

1 girl to date.
2 hours to talk.
20 bucks to eat.

Welcome to the big leagues!

And for those of you wondering if I’ve been taking my own advice, the answer is yes. I’ve asked a couple girls out in the past month.

Bros, still skeptical or unsure of exactly how to go about making this a chill date? How to ask her? How to plan these two hours? I’ll write more tomorrow on how to make all that happen!

Now check out Part 3 – The Call.

Plug This!
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