May 12 2009

Own It Challenge: Part 1 – The Challenge

Published by at 12:29 pm under Relationships

One of my favorite relationship questions to guys: “Do you have anyone in the farm system?” In baseball, the major league teams have “farm teams” where their organization’s brightest prospects are able to play and develop against other farm teams. Its meaning, when applied to girls, is simple: do you have any female prospects in your life? Anyone you’re interested in?

My unscientific guess is 60-75% of my friends are interested in someone at any given time – which brings us to my next term – conversion rate. When applied to girls, conversion rate is the percentage of guys who call a prospect up from the farm club (i.e. how many girls get called by a guy for an actual date). Conversion rates in most demographics are low. Abysmally low. Maybe 5%. Girls generally lament that guys aren’t asking them out more.

My Challenge
My challenge to every single guy reading this: 1 girl to date. 2 hours to talk. 20 bucks to eat.

If you’ve got interest in a girl, OWN IT! Ask her out for a meal or to coffee. Don’t make it expensive. Only spend 20 bucks. 30 max. Spend a couple hours talking. Then go home and evaluate how the date went.

The Scenarios
Bench Player. If you don’t have anyone you’re interested in, no worries. Nothing you can do about that. Sometimes, it’s slim pickens down in the farm system.

Starter. If you do have someone you’re interested in, own it. You’re the George Steinbrenner of your clubhouse (he owns the New York Yankees). Make a call to the girl. Do it in the next 24 hours. Heck, do it now!!

Injured Reserve. If you do have someone you like, but can’t own it (because you have baggage or something else), you HAVE to start working through those things. Your organization needs an overhaul and YOU’RE the one to make it happen!

At the end of the day, dudes, this is a small step in leadership. Ask her out. Plan a nice meal. Pay for it. And head home. 1 girl to date. 2 hours to talk. 20 bucks to eat. It’s a date. Make it happen, captain! Interested in a girl? Own it.

Up Next
In the next two days, we’ll look at two additional topics: common excuses us guys give to rationalize not asking girls out and some tips on how to go on a date without being a chach bag.

Plug In
Big ups if you end up asking a girl out! If you do, would you leave a comment and say “I owned it!” I want to see 100 comments from dudes before the month of May is over. I actually want to see 1,000, but that seems outrageous, so I’m keeping it simple.

Plug It
But 1,000 would be awesome.To see 1,000 comments of dudes asking girls out, it means YOU, dear reader, would need to be bouty bout the Own It Challenge. Want to plug it on your blog? Here are a couple banners. When you link it on your blog, just switch to the HTML view of your blog editor and paste the code in below one of these pictures to make them work on your site (it will automatically direct to this post). Also, there are little Twitter and Facebook buttons at the very bottom. Click one of those to post it there!
Now check out Part 2 – The Excuses.

25 responses so far

25 Responses to “Own It Challenge: Part 1 – The Challenge”

  1. Rachaelon 12 May 2009 at 1:02 pm

    i break out in hives when guys ask me out.

  2. Jessicaon 12 May 2009 at 1:54 pm

    LOVE this! Can’t wait to see how this unfolds!

  3. Emma Rushon 12 May 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Haha this is perfect Andy!

    You need a counter for how many dudes write in and say they’ve completed your challenge.

  4. Marijkeon 12 May 2009 at 2:18 pm

    I am loving the banner…..

  5. lizon 12 May 2009 at 2:28 pm

    Andy….are YOU owning it??!?!?

  6. Cassie Mooreon 12 May 2009 at 3:28 pm

    Oh Andy, I love your optimism. If it were only this simple.

  7. ConnieBrzon 12 May 2009 at 3:49 pm

    Hey there~

    Love this so much I’m plugging you over at my blog– just posted your little square thingie on my sidebar.

    Good luck young man :)

  8. Jonon 12 May 2009 at 5:09 pm

    good idea but I totally disagree with the inference that the guy should pay for a date! That puts too much pressure on the interaction and makes the girl think you want something in return. Also guys get nervous about asking girls on dates which is why certain girls stay in the “farm system” a hang is casual and costs even less money than a date and puts no pressure. But I like the terminology!

  9. Melissaon 12 May 2009 at 5:48 pm


    I think the difference between a “hang” and a “date” is the intentionality and specificity. Yes guys get nervous, but so do girls. That’s the point…”man” up, so to speak. To be honest, it only works if the girl is then brave enough to say yes, which can also be a scary thing.

    I’m a firm believer in the idea that dates don’t have to really cost money (walk around Radnor Lake, anyone?) but I think the point here is more to call a spade a spade and cut down on the ambiguity.

    If more people did this, then maybe a simple date wouldn’t be so daunting in the first place and there might (MIGHT) be a little less confusion/misinterpretation in the whole process. That’s all. =)

  10. Melissaon 12 May 2009 at 5:57 pm

    or, at least, that’s what most of the ladies I know would like to see.

  11. Sabrinaon 12 May 2009 at 7:44 pm

    Oh man… if only guys would own up and actually become men! If only a guy would ask me out, take me to dinner, engage me in conversation and enjoy… wow, that would be amazing! I realize guys need to be respected but what they don’t understand is that girls need to be loved. But how can I respect them if they don’t step up to be men?

    This is awesome, Andy. I’m plugging it for all the single guys in SC and beyond!

  12. Jen Grahamon 12 May 2009 at 8:37 pm

    Super pumped and passing it on!

  13. Elizabethon 12 May 2009 at 9:11 pm

    Love it, love it! Good job, Andy! Posted it on facebook and on my blog. We (the girls need to do our part too…. I’m calling it- not putting guys in the you might someday need a man’s sperm pool… but anyways.)

    Dear Jon,
    I’m pretty sure Jon might not be your real name. Did we “hang out” once? No, well I feel like we did. Let me tell you a story… once about five years ago I “hung out” with this guy for a long time…. like a looonngg time. Because I was trying to be a cool girl I never required any sort of definition. And he never gave any, until we were not breaking up (cause, why are you breaking up with someone you weren’t dating?) and he told me he had been thinking about marrying me, but had decided he wasn’t ready.
    That’s not cool. Not your fault, Jon. Or any other man’s either, but I think why us girls don’t like the whole hanging out thing is because it allows guys to walk all over us and mess with our heads and hearts.
    So, I’m all for hanging out maybe once…. but it shouldn’t a habit. And, Jon, a date $10 bucks even… or a walk… that’s not going to break the bank. We want a guy to ask us out if he’s interested in us (assuming we dig him too)… and if it’s not worth it to actually ask us out, then cut us off the farm team.

  14. Staceyon 13 May 2009 at 9:27 am

    Good stuff Andy!

  15. jon 13 May 2009 at 3:11 pm

    i’m a girl but… he owned it! i got asked out.

  16. agon 14 May 2009 at 5:37 pm

    jon–just hanging out with a girl is lame. pay for her dang date. she’ll feel like she’s worth more than just friendship. hanging out won’t get you anywhere…trust me, I’ve had more than my share of guys who wanna hang out because they are too scared too actually ask me out. None of them when anywhere. at all.

    andy–thank you thank you. “Hanging out” is like a disease in Nashville. Someone needed to remind guys that girls LIKE to be asked out! It’s not forever, it’s just a way to get to know someone and see if you’re interested. I’m so glad I found a man of my own who manned-up and pursued me.

  17. jonon 14 May 2009 at 10:46 pm

    i think your advice will hurt at least as many as it helps, i think that there is a reason that guys who aren’t asking girls out aren’t doing that and a dating relationship in lots of cases would just compound problems. just because you have a catchy slogan does not at all mean that you have a good idea!

  18. matton 22 May 2009 at 4:37 pm

    i asked a girl out two days ago, she said no and now her friend is mad at me.
    i asked a girl out last night and she ended up crying about it.

    my farm system must be for the 2007 royals or something.

    but hey,


  19. Andyon 22 May 2009 at 4:41 pm

    Matt, you are a stud! Tim told me about you! The 2009 Royals are looking better! ‘Tis only a matter of time, homie!!! -andy

  20. basheron 28 May 2009 at 1:14 pm

    Just an awful, awful idea.

    You can actually find out whether or not you have chemistry with someone before you go on a date. Dates, whether you admit it or not, are loaded with all sorts of implications and are not nearly as casual (for everyone) as you make them out to be.

    Once some sort of link beyond friendship is possible, then move on to the date. A more beneficial campaign would see guys asking girls out after establishing comfort, but before becoming full-fledged friends.

  21. Andyon 28 May 2009 at 1:57 pm

    thanks for the comment, man! i realize your initial reaction was that this is a terrible idea, but by the end of your comment, i think we’re saying the same thing. in part 2, i said something about hanging with a girl in a group hang up to 5 times to establish whether or not a dude is interested enough for a date. but don’t feel bad for being critical. you’re not the only guy who’s told me it’s an awful idea. :) i understand it’s not for everyone. thanks for your extra thoughts past your gut reaction. late!

  22. David Hon 06 Jun 2009 at 9:37 am

    I OWNED IT!….. and it was good

  23. Role Call « Ink in Pinkon 20 May 2011 at 8:55 am

    […] years ago, Andy Merrick posted a blog called the Own It Challenge. The premise was that not enough guys are actually stepping up to ask girls out. He challenged his […]

  24. Daniel Walshon 28 Jun 2012 at 8:55 am

    Dear Andy:

    Cant believe i am seeing someone with a idea of asking girl out and paying the bills for it and cant believe all these womyn asking for a date and telling men to “man” up and pay for their dinner or lunch or whatever you like to call it.

    Girls all of them who commented here :) did you forgot your slogan “Equality” “Men and Women are Equal” so why the hell i or any other men should “ManUp” and pay for your hunger strike or “date begging” why you wont “WomanUp” and pay half of the bill, dont be cheap on that maybe then you would get a date.


  25. Andyon 29 Jun 2012 at 1:18 am

    dating’s tough, man! on everyone! i bet a lot of girls WOULD pay for the date if it meant a dude would go out with them. they’re looking for life partners. i can’t imagine what it’s like being a girl today. it’s tough enough being a dude. we’re all in weird boats. some day we’ll sort it out.

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