My buddy recently asked a girl out on a date and this is what happened. I write it from his perspective. If you’re inclined to be offended by this, please don’t be. Just take this for what it is…a guy who wanted to spend some time with a girl. Better luck next time, brohammer!

the un-bargain: a poem
by andy merrick

i went to tj maxx
and wanted to buy stuff
but everything in the store
cost a hundred bucks

i went to the burrito shop
and wanted tasty treats
but all they had to serve there
were filipino eats

i visited an airport
banking on a flight
but nary any aircraft
drifted into sight

took a trip to disneyworld
expecting mickey mouse
but was told upon arrival
he wasn’t in the house

when i was turning 16
my dad had a surprise
what all teenagers dream of
a fat, fantastic ride

today, i asked you on a date
established where and when
and you somehow decided
to invite your friend

but let me tell you now
how tricked teens and i feel
nobody wants to drive
a car that has three wheels.

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