Archive for March, 2007

Mar 28 2007

The Invasion: A Poem

Published by under Poems

The Invasion: A Poem
by andy merrick

It seems a population grows in middle Tennessee
Around March twenty-first, or two, or maybe twenty-three
What else can we do but get some Raid and then to spray
Around the outside of our house to stop this ant parade
One, he plays the tuba, more are in the color guard
Why can’t their party stay away like in our nice front yard?
Soon I do recall the ancient verse up in the ‘Verbs
That tells the sluggard, “Watch the ant. Patiently observe.”
And since I’ve sat around all day killing all these ants
I figure I’ll obey the Lord and give His Word a chance
I zero in on one that’s big and give him quite a glance
He does work hard at what he does, and does so with a dance
Then all at once I snapped out of my meditative trance
Moved into the toilet by a hundred thousand ants.

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Mar 27 2007

The Roof:A Poem

Published by under Poems

The Roof: A Poem
by andy merrick

Some people say the quickest way into a man’s big heart
Is through the stomach, throat, and mouth – to feed him from the start
And while I have to say that’s true there’s more than meets the eye
We men are not so simple as some steak and eggs and pie
Try a little home design or finance or some chores
Some domesticated and some geared just for the poor
A wife of noble character, who on earth can find?
She’s worth far more than rubies, diamonds, gold or stale pork rinds.
Yes, doing really easy things will make the young men flock
But one thing will erase your gains and cause them all to stop
No, not gas or belching or even stinky feet
Most of us think all that stuff is really pretty sweet
If you insist on nagging and trying to be our mom
You’re sabotaging everything that you had going on
What you need to quickly realize is that we’re not the same
There’s some things that don’t matter, so why pour fuel on the flame?
Don’t be a leaky faucet and don’t quarrel til you’re blue
Or your man will prefer to you the corner of a roof.

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Mar 26 2007

The Secret: A Poem

Published by under Poems

The Secret
by andy merrick

My friend told me a secret, said keep it under wraps
But I went out and informed all my favoritest chaps
And Agent Green was given private in-for-ma-cion
But Green dismissed the guidelines and told Uni-vis-ion
This here prompts a question about just exactly how
A secret is a secret if all people know it now
So if I have the who and know exactly where to go
What’s so secretive about a MySpace Secret Show?

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Mar 25 2007

Foot In Mouth: A Poem

Published by under Poems

Foot in Mouth: A Poem
by andy merrick

Walked in a bar full of my friends
And since I’m never one to pretend
I readied to speak a scene I saw
A girl in the lap of my good friend, Paul
I mused to myself then opened my mouth
Turned to Trent and these words spilled out:
“That girl with Paul is an ugly blister”
Then Trent replied, “That’s my sister.”

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