Comments on: Why Guys Aren’t Asking You Out: Part 2

By: Seth Aguilar

Seth Aguilar — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 07:26:55 +0000

SPEAKING ON BEHALF OF A MAN:
All I can say is ouch, I hate to admit it, but you have a point. I personally believe that we can naively play the game because of two reasons: 1) It can be exciting to explore the mysteries of a “new girl” and 2) Candidly, we (I) can be insecure and it makes us feel as though we are valid. This is why it is BEST to get our validation from God (our Creator), and not from girls. I will say that it was NEVER my intent to hurt any other, it is just that I have been lost in self-focus in some of my “friendships”. Blah…ugh!!! We ought to seek to edify each other, not to take from the other.

Good stuff Andy!

By: Dane

Dane — Thu, 06 May 2010 22:52:35 +0000

Chicks do this to guys all the time. Flirt and act interested. Then when they do get asked out they’re always busy. They do this for sport. They like the fact that no matter how many guys they blow off, more guys keep coming. This goes on until they either get pregnant and need a man to stick around or they find some guy they like and want to be with, but he turns out to be a jerk and dump her.

By: A Single Girl

A Single Girl — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 22:53:33 +0000

I totally agree that guys don’t know what they want. I was studying in a library two weeks ago and while I was away from my table someone put a secret note saying “Text Me.” I texted him. We met briefly, talked for about fifteen minutes. Then again and again like in the story above. I started wondering why he left a note and why doesn’t ask me out.

I decided to make the first step thinking he is just shy or intimidated by me. He couldn’t come.(of course). Now I just think he is just not that into me. I really don’t get it. He liked me first and then without getting to know me, he doesn’t like me. Or maybe he just can’t make up his mind???

By: askfghj

askfghj — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 11:29:35 +0000

But what I don’t get is why do guys. Call it “talking” and they get all the benefits of dating you. But yet they havnt asked you out yet. And they say they’re gonna wanna be more that there gonna wanna date you (like boyfriend and girlfriend not like goin on dates bc u do that when your tlkn)…. But when exactly will that happen?

By: Meg

Meg — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 21:10:52 +0000

My current goal in life is to do the animal cracker experiment.

By: Kristin

Kristin — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:00:11 +0000

I’m tracking with you, but…

“Variations of this game run from the benign of winning you over emotionally through flirting all the way to the malignant one-night stand. ”

I’m not sure I follow on the benign/malignant thing. Typically, I think of benign as not-cancerous causing, the harmless of the tumors. Don’t forget that women are incredibly emotional beings. Once a guy has won a girl over emotionally through flirting, she’s invested. Even if it ends up being minor, she’s in for some heartbreak, and that’s never harmless.

On the other hand, women often get won over emotionally through flirting even when the guy isn’t trying to win her over. Not thinking of this area as benign is a caution to women, too–we’ve got to be more cautious in guarding our hearts.

Thanks for your insights!

By: Kaylan

Kaylan — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 21:57:34 +0000

So…I’ve been saving some Trader Joe’s Spicy Black Bean Dip for a special occasion. Today, I felt, was a special occasion just because it’s Wednesday, so I decided to bust it open.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t open the jar with my weak feminine hands, so I asked the guys in my office (five of them, to be exact) if any one of them could help. You would’ve thought I just offered them a chance to participate in the Olympics. They all took turns trying to open the jar—going back and forth—until one finally completed the task and claimed victory over the challenge. It was hysterical.

I guess this proves your theory of “Games” to be true…

By: Matt E.

Matt E. — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 03:29:06 +0000

“Most guys have trouble communicating their feelings. This is problematic.” Pretty awesome.

By: Andy

Andy — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 15:51:05 +0000

Yo Ben! Thanks for your comment! Totally agree about the numbers thing. I do touch on it in later parts and am writing about it more specifically in Part 9.

Appreciate the book recommendation. I’ll pick it up this week! I listen to Driscoll regularly and, while he can be abrasive at times, he speaks a lot of truth.

Thanks again for your thoughts, man. Helpful!

By: mrben

mrben — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:33:01 +0000

I haven’t read forward yet, so I’m only responding to this post

One part of the problem, in the church at least, is that there is a gender gap – there are just less men than women. And that means that, for the men that _are_ in church, the likelihood of having a decent role model for such things.

Without wanting to sound like an advert, I can recommend “Why Men Hate Going to Church” by David Murrow. Also, it’s worth listening to some of Mark Driscoll’s thoughts on marriage (http://www.marshillchurch.org) even if you don’t agree with him.